Retrospective

When I started this blog last February, I had the usual tragic “this will finally be thing!” hopes – the thing that would motivate me, elevate me, make the grind a pleasurable challenge, a worthy adversary.

It obviously wasn’t, but that’s not the only story. I thought I had a solid accounting of the challenges facing me for the remainder of the spring. I might not have been ready for them, but I was sure I knew what precisely was going to kill me over the ensuing months.

Cue chronic illness.

I’ve had some time to “get used to” it, but a blubbering conversation with my amazing advisors last week forced me to see that I haven’t dealt with my emotions about my condition and how it’s stalled and squeezed my world. Affected most of all has been my academic…everything, so I’m going to be using this blog to work that shit out for a while. In the coming weeks, I’m going to talk more about my condition while I look over previous ideas for blog posts with a perspective that needs to shift as much mentally as it has physically.